Training Wheels

My silly little Ella.  She is SO my daughter.  For the last month she has been asking on and off to have the training wheels taken off her bike.  Before we moved, we really didn't have many opportunities for the kids to ride their bikes since our neighborhood didn't have side walks and we didn't feel safe having them on the road while they were still so unpredictable. (think car coming and oblivious preschooler riding right towards it.) Our new neighborhood has sidewalks and is really kid friendly so the kids have been riding all over the place on their outside toys.  But anyways, back to my story and the reason for this post.  The weekend before last, Ella was asking again about taking her training wheels off so Randy granted her wish and took them off.  She was really nervous, but she was pretty determined, too.  It took her a couple of wobbly tries and in no time she was riding really well on her own.  Randy and I were so proud!  She needed help getting started, but was riding for a pretty long distance before she would get scared and turn towards the grass to jump off.  We thought training wheels were a thing of her past until completely out of nowhere....she just bursted into tears.  She said it was too hard and she wasn't good at it and that she wanted her training wheels back on.  She was SO upset.  Randy was sort of baffled, but he put her training wheels back on and she was back on her way.

I'm sure to most guys, girls and their emotions just don't make sense.  She probably doesn't make sense to some girls, too.  But she makes perfect sense to me.  Because she is a little mini version of me.  It's the same reason I can't play guitar.  Or why I had a sewing machine for almost a year before I made anything.  It's this strange OCD complex where I don't want to be "bad" at anything.  It keeps me from doing things that are "too hard" or that I'm "not good" at.  And unfortunately it has poor Ella back to riding on training wheels.  I'm proud to say that the last two years one of my "resolutions" was to not do anything I didn't want to.  That may sound selfish to some, but for someone with an acts of service love language like myself, it's a big deal.  See in my attempts to show love to people I care about, I tend to turn into a door mat.  I love to help people out and serve, but sometimes people take advantage or other times I haven't been taken advantage of, but yet I'm stuck doing something that doesn't make me happy because I said yes to something I didn't really want to do.  Saying "no" to things has given me time to work on the things I'm "not good at" that I want to be good at.  I'm still a work in progress though.  It's also a hard transition to go from the person who always smiles and does what people tell you to...to the person that speaks the way they really feel.  It's still really hard for me, but I'm making progress.  I try to take every opportunity individually to pray and think on it before I commit.  Since making these changes, I can truly say I am SO happy with my life right now!  I enjoy the ministries I serve in.  I am enjoying being a stay at home mom to my kids and being home to support my husband.  I'm constantly re-evaluating and adjusting my schedule to meet the needs of myself and my family.  

Taking the training wheels off is easy for some....but a longer process for others.  The key is to keep trying!!

and yes.....she is wearing knee pads.  She had on tights that we didn't want to rip....and I've become one of those parents that is scared for their kid to bleed.  Just my girl.  Because she's breakable.  ;)