No Turning Back

Pretty much every phone call or run in I have with someone starts with "So have you figured out where you guys are going yet?".  I was listening to a song on the Passion White Flag album this morning and thinking about all of the times I have sang out some of the lyrics to the song.  They had a much different impact this morning.  It's so easy to sing lyrics that talk about surrendering your life to God's plan when every thing is great and going smoothly.  It's much harder when you are truly having to keep total faith in whatever plan God has next.  It's both extremely exciting and yet terrifying at the same time!!  So, right now we truly have no idea what's next or where we're going.  Randy is working on submitting resumes and videos to churches that are hiring...hopefully by March we will start interviewing places (we hope?!) and then we can start to figure out what's next.  Some days my faith is strong and my mind is whirling with how exciting it's going to be to see what God has next for us and where we end up.  Trusting that He already had this whole thing figured out.  Other days, I'm filled with complete panic!  But either way, in my heart, I know that Randy and I both have felt like God was ready for us to move onto something else.  So for now, we are trusting that He will finish what He started within us and that He already knows exactly what's next for us.  We just have to wait and be willing to go wherever that is!

I will follow you
I will follow you
No turning back
No turning back
No turning back
No turning back

This is my heart cry
Though none go with me
The cross before me
The world behind me

This is my heart cry
Though none go with me
The cross before me
The world behind me

I will follow you (I have decided, I have decided)
I will follow you (I have decided)
No turning back
No turning back
No turning back
No turning back

This is my anthem
My life for your fame
My every move bring
Glory to your name

This is my anthem
My life for your fame
My every move bring
Glory to your name

I will follow you (I have decided, I have decided )
I will follow you (I have decided)
No turning back
No turning back
No turning back
No turning back

The cross before me
The world behind me
I will follow
I will follow

The cross before me
The world behind me
I will follow
I will follow

The cross before me
The world behind me
I will follow
I will follow

The cross before me
The world behind me
I will follow
I will follow

No turning back
No turning back
No turning back
No turning back

No turning back
No turning back
No turning back
No turning back

The word on the street is true....

This post is going to be vague because my laptop is about to die and I have a million other things going on (feeding yelling babies, trying to start school with Ella...and on and on).  Still, I just wanted to take a second and say that all of the posts in Facebook land are true.  We are moving sometime this Spring.  We have loved every second of our time here in Wisconsin.  We're not leaving because we're cold or we have a crappy church or we don't like it here or anything like that.  We have just been feeling for several months now that God may have something different for us and we're trying to do what's best for our family.  It's been hard to be so far away from our family and the ability to hop in our car for a quick visit.  We have no idea what's next for us.  Or where we'll end up.  But we DO know, that God has it all figured out and that he has always been faithful to provide for our family.  We will be staying here at least until Easter and praying in the mean time that God opens a new opportunity for us as well as provides for our church family here in Dodgeville.  We are heartbroken to leave this amazing community and love you all dearly!  Please pray for us as we all figure out what's next.

Ella, you are WORTH it.

*Beware* I very rarely do this. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm not sure I have ever taken to my blog to rant...but I am today. I just have to get this off my chest.  This post has the potential to offend some of my most wonderful friends.  Please don't be offended, (or maybe if you are..still love me anyways?!)  I am not writing this to make people who parent differently then me feel bad.  I just want to put this into words so one day I can show my sweet Ella and hopefully she will be able to look at me and thank me for loving her so much. Or maybe she wont...maybe she will look back and feel like I was unfair.  Either way my sweet Ella, I love you SO stinkin' much, that I think you are worth it.  I'm willing to be the mean mom if that's the cost for protecting your precious heart.  You are WORTH it!


Today I took Ella to a Birthday party for one of her friend's.  As soon as we walked in the door,I immediately regretted the decision to come to the party.  The first thing that greeted us was a wall to floor banner that looked something like this:

I'm sure to most of you reading, this means absolutely nothing.  What's the big deal, right?

Several months ago, Ella started asking about putting "Monster High Dolls" on her Christmas list.  We've seen them here and there in the toy isles at Wal Mart and I had never really paid them much attention. Honestly, my first thoughts were just that they were different and a little creepy and that's about it.  As the week went by, I noticed that Ella was becoming more and more persistent and consumed with the idea of getting one of these dolls.  At some point she had some money she had been saving and the moment came where I had to make a decision....is this a toy we will allow in our house? So one afternoon while picking up a few things without kids in tow, I decided to take a little walk over to the toy isle and see what all the craze was about.  What I found, really surprised me.  It only took about two seconds to decide that these wouldn't be allowed in our home.  The part that bothered me most though was the fact that these dolls had been designed and marketed specifically for girls my daughter's age.  It's not like Ella and her friends just became interested in something a little "old" for them.  Nope, these dolls are made for ages "6&up".  

There were three first impressions that made my answer and immediate "no".

First, their outfits are totally inappropriate for a 6 year old.  They are completely hyper sexualized.  Now, I know this is a tricky one.   Ella has tons of Barbies who also have outfits I would never let my six year old wear.  I was really struggling with why one of them bothered me and the other didn't and all I came up with is that there is something about the outfits of MHD that seems much more provocative.  I know I could open up a huge can of worms on the topic of why I allow one and not the other, but I'm going to skip that rabbit trail for today.  Here are a couple of picture that explain what I mean. 

The second thing that was a deal breaker was the insane amount of makeup on their faces.  Ella and I both love makeup.  It's so much fun and I honestly very rarely leave my house without at least a little on my face. So I'm not anti makeup....but I just felt it was excessive for a First Grader.

The last thing that gave me a terrible first impression was their body shapes. I've heard people say this about other dolls and Princess characters and not thought much of it, but these dolls seem alarmingly skinny.  Like, eating disorder skinny.  I don't know, maybe it's because they are "dead" or corpses or whatever.  Either way, I don't like it.  It's sad when a doll can make Barbie look fat!

There are many other things that played into my decision to say no to these dolls, but I will leave it at these three.  Ella and I have had many chats about why we don't allow them and she gets it.  She doesn't always like our choice and she is always excited when we show up at a playdate or party and she gets a chance to "taste the forbidden fruit" haha.  It's hard to help her understand why she isn't allowed to have them when so many of her friends are, especially without going into too much detail.  Would it be easier to just give in?  Absolutely!!!  But the thing I love most about protecting her heart is the end results.  This last week we have had two conversation revolving around these dolls two and both times she has told me things like "I do wish I had one sometimes, but I don't think you're a mean mommy for saying no".  Little by little, she gets it.  What still bugs me though, is how much it has to be in her face.  And the fact that so many moms just buy the latest fads because it's easier than having the tough conversations and having to be the odd ones out.  I realize I'm a little bit more conservative or old school in the way I parent..I guess?  But I just really can't stand that this kind of stuff is becoming "normal" and okay for young girls.  It's really sad.  One of the big things I tell Ella about not having one is that these dolls don't teach little girls how to be beautiful inside and out.  I tell her that if I buy one, then I'm telling the people who make dolls to keep making stuff like this that is inappropriate for little girls.  I don't want to make them think that we like stuff like this so I'm not going to buy them. Will my measly $14 make a difference in the eyes of the doll makers?  Probably not.  But will it make a difference in the eyes of my 6 year old.  I can only hope.

My sweet, precious Ella, I will have the tough talks.  I will let you be the "only" one who doesnt' have one.  Because you are worth it.

New beginnings....

Well, it's official!  First day of homeschool is nearly complete and we are all still smiling.  I think I'll call it a win!  I have spent weeks preparing and organizing, but I still felt a little frazzled when it was time to start. I suppose I was just nervous that I had forgotten some super duper  important subject without which she will never get into college.  ;) But a little prayer and a couple of deep breaths later.. we got started and did just fine.  We loved it.  I'm looking forward to finding our way the next couple of weeks.  In the world of homeschool curriculum there are so many options.  I feel like what we have so far is a great start, but there are so many other options to try, too.  I'm excited to see what things we enjoy and don't enjoy so that we can continue to establish our school routine. 

 

We took a few pictures this morning to share :)

 

 

So thankful to have more time with this precious girl!!  Ella, you are loved more than you will ever know!

I also wanted to share a few pictures from Ella's last day of school.  Her teacher was so sweet and supportive of this whole transition.  She has been amazing.  On Friday, she threw Ella a "Happy Homeschooling" farewell party. It was so special to Ella.  She had a few tears on the way home thinking about the parts of school she will miss so much, but she is excited to visit her friends and see them all at dance and around town.  She's also excited to be able to visit with her homeschooled friends more often now that she wont be so busy . 

On Thursday, Ella and I made these little gifts for her classmates.  Thank you Pinterest ;)

"I'm going to miss you to...Pieces!"

 

 I baked some yummy cupcakes that Ella decorated with candies to share with her friends!

She had the perfect last day of school!  Not only did she have her goodbye party, but she also had two other exciting treats.  First, she had show and tell and was finally able to take her American Girl doll, Bella to school with her!  This was really exciting for Ella since she has been *dying* to take her in.  Next, her class earned a party that day for good behavior so she was able to bring in an electronic to play with and wear her PJs!  Very fun.  It was a great day and Noah enjoyed getting to come join in on the fun, too!