Ella, you are WORTH it.

*Beware* I very rarely do this. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm not sure I have ever taken to my blog to rant...but I am today. I just have to get this off my chest.  This post has the potential to offend some of my most wonderful friends.  Please don't be offended, (or maybe if you are..still love me anyways?!)  I am not writing this to make people who parent differently then me feel bad.  I just want to put this into words so one day I can show my sweet Ella and hopefully she will be able to look at me and thank me for loving her so much. Or maybe she wont...maybe she will look back and feel like I was unfair.  Either way my sweet Ella, I love you SO stinkin' much, that I think you are worth it.  I'm willing to be the mean mom if that's the cost for protecting your precious heart.  You are WORTH it!


Today I took Ella to a Birthday party for one of her friend's.  As soon as we walked in the door,I immediately regretted the decision to come to the party.  The first thing that greeted us was a wall to floor banner that looked something like this:

I'm sure to most of you reading, this means absolutely nothing.  What's the big deal, right?

Several months ago, Ella started asking about putting "Monster High Dolls" on her Christmas list.  We've seen them here and there in the toy isles at Wal Mart and I had never really paid them much attention. Honestly, my first thoughts were just that they were different and a little creepy and that's about it.  As the week went by, I noticed that Ella was becoming more and more persistent and consumed with the idea of getting one of these dolls.  At some point she had some money she had been saving and the moment came where I had to make a decision....is this a toy we will allow in our house? So one afternoon while picking up a few things without kids in tow, I decided to take a little walk over to the toy isle and see what all the craze was about.  What I found, really surprised me.  It only took about two seconds to decide that these wouldn't be allowed in our home.  The part that bothered me most though was the fact that these dolls had been designed and marketed specifically for girls my daughter's age.  It's not like Ella and her friends just became interested in something a little "old" for them.  Nope, these dolls are made for ages "6&up".  

There were three first impressions that made my answer and immediate "no".

First, their outfits are totally inappropriate for a 6 year old.  They are completely hyper sexualized.  Now, I know this is a tricky one.   Ella has tons of Barbies who also have outfits I would never let my six year old wear.  I was really struggling with why one of them bothered me and the other didn't and all I came up with is that there is something about the outfits of MHD that seems much more provocative.  I know I could open up a huge can of worms on the topic of why I allow one and not the other, but I'm going to skip that rabbit trail for today.  Here are a couple of picture that explain what I mean. 

The second thing that was a deal breaker was the insane amount of makeup on their faces.  Ella and I both love makeup.  It's so much fun and I honestly very rarely leave my house without at least a little on my face. So I'm not anti makeup....but I just felt it was excessive for a First Grader.

The last thing that gave me a terrible first impression was their body shapes. I've heard people say this about other dolls and Princess characters and not thought much of it, but these dolls seem alarmingly skinny.  Like, eating disorder skinny.  I don't know, maybe it's because they are "dead" or corpses or whatever.  Either way, I don't like it.  It's sad when a doll can make Barbie look fat!

There are many other things that played into my decision to say no to these dolls, but I will leave it at these three.  Ella and I have had many chats about why we don't allow them and she gets it.  She doesn't always like our choice and she is always excited when we show up at a playdate or party and she gets a chance to "taste the forbidden fruit" haha.  It's hard to help her understand why she isn't allowed to have them when so many of her friends are, especially without going into too much detail.  Would it be easier to just give in?  Absolutely!!!  But the thing I love most about protecting her heart is the end results.  This last week we have had two conversation revolving around these dolls two and both times she has told me things like "I do wish I had one sometimes, but I don't think you're a mean mommy for saying no".  Little by little, she gets it.  What still bugs me though, is how much it has to be in her face.  And the fact that so many moms just buy the latest fads because it's easier than having the tough conversations and having to be the odd ones out.  I realize I'm a little bit more conservative or old school in the way I parent..I guess?  But I just really can't stand that this kind of stuff is becoming "normal" and okay for young girls.  It's really sad.  One of the big things I tell Ella about not having one is that these dolls don't teach little girls how to be beautiful inside and out.  I tell her that if I buy one, then I'm telling the people who make dolls to keep making stuff like this that is inappropriate for little girls.  I don't want to make them think that we like stuff like this so I'm not going to buy them. Will my measly $14 make a difference in the eyes of the doll makers?  Probably not.  But will it make a difference in the eyes of my 6 year old.  I can only hope.

My sweet, precious Ella, I will have the tough talks.  I will let you be the "only" one who doesnt' have one.  Because you are worth it.